Taking Stock - after a while

As a young adult, I had the habit of being obsessed with habits. I would then be ashamed for not sticking to them. I'd even wonder 'why do I spend so much time forming these habits if I won't follow through anyway' ..

I've since learned habits are really tools. Tools to help us focus on what is truly important. The habit itself is not the end goal (nothing is the end goal really) ..

At any point in life when I feel the need to return 'home' .. I am grateful for the habits formed cos I can always go back to them as a starting point.

This is how I feel about taking stock. It grounds me at times when stability will be most useful.

Making: a home. I've always been aware of how important a comfortable home is. That is even more true now. Just many of us, I'm spending a lot of time at home, moving to re-evaluate how I want this space to feel like rather than the looks. So far .. so good.

Eating: a whole lot of cheese. It's confirmed. Food can be an addiction. It has gone beyond taste. I crave cheese like I would a drug. There's a local restaurant that makes the meanest Nachos. I order large x2. Don't judge me. My emotions need it.

Drinking: hibiscus tea. My life long search is a warm drink that'll replace coffee. It's kinda like trying to replace cocaine. It's a futile attempt.

I love this tea. It has tons of vitamin C yet it's not coffee. I usually drink it in the afternoons.

Reading: The Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes. I really liked Scandal and wanted to discover the mind behind it all. A great read, I must admit. She's a storyteller.

Wanting: to be at an airport. I don't even have to get on a plane, just the feeling that I'm going somewhere far. You get what I mean?

Playing: Future - Life is Good .. I underestimated him as a rapper. He's got it and some more. The beat is good. Also, the courage of turning two songs into one. He's an artist.

Creating: a single life. I've always loved living alone. I didn't realise the many outings were supporting this lifestyle. I've had to revisit that decision again .. and yes I still choose to live alone.

Wasting: no time wishing for the old world we are all accustomed to. I've accepted that it's not coming and some parts of it weren’t great afterall.

Wishing: oh oh oh .. I am not falling for this one again! You know I used to wish for time, less events to attend. I swore I'd do more if only I had the gift of time. The joke's on me.

Enjoying: discovering new things about who I am. Sometimes they are not so pretty but it's me .. it's all good

Loving: Apple products. I create from the heart, hardly from my mind. This means I can wreck a device in a short space of time. Apple so far understands I work faster than my mind.

Hoping: we stop hoping and start acting on whatever it is that is burning within us and wanting to be born. Provided it's good and beneficial of course.

Marvelling: at how the more we change, the more we stay the same. I promise you one day I'll be able to explain in a more sophisticated manner. For now the one sentence is what I got.

Smelling: the crisp clean air just after the rain. We are blessed with soft, romantic rains in Johannesburg. You can't help but take a walk afterwards. Most of MH reader's aren't South African. I'd love to know what you thought of the weather if you've visited?

Wearing: anything that doesn't required an iron. The more minimalist I've become the more productive my life is. It could be a combination of other positive changes I've implemented. A minimalist life is still worth a try though. It would certainly add a few minutes to your day.

Following: the consciousness trail wherever it may lead

Noticing: just how when doing what we truly love, tiredness suddenly is not an issue. A whole mind game our bodies play with us. Whenever the activity is considered as boring by 'the body' then it's immediately translated as fatigue. I shall not be fooled no more.

Knowing: that there's really no rush. I could take my time with literally anything I touch. We are convinced that if it's not done today or figured out today then it's a failure. What a misconception. Wherever you are in life right now, please take it in.

Feeling: a variety of human emotions. Instead of running after happiness, I embrace human emotions and actively look for lessons in them.

Bookmarking: a bunch of TED talks. My attention span is fussy so 15mins of one subject is a stretch. I keep them aside in hopes I'd watch one day.

Opening: my heart and mind to more life experiences.

Giggling: yes I still think Kansiime Anne is the funniest person in Africa. I'm grateful that she's even allowed us in her journey. I'm more drawn to her now as a person more than I am to the comedian side of her. A true gem.

Sending you rain,

Thembeka

P.S as you might have figured out by now this is a piece I wrote in 2020 and never got to publishing it. It felt good to re introduce the website with a good old favourite in hopes that you copy and paste and do your own taking stock. A lot about me has changed since 2020. You’ll see.

Also, if you’re new here, what do you think of this little corner on the internet? Anything you’d like to see more of? Mail me.